Icky

This weekend/week have been unproductive. I've been sick, I've been overworked, and I've been down in the dumps. I'm guessing the last is because of the previous, but it really doesn't help. The team practices I've done so far have been going well. I played exactly how i said i wanted to: i used my body, threw myself around and got a few Ds and a few weird ass catches. I could have had a few more but i was still feeling a bit off and a bit unmotivated.

My cardio has gotten worse though - possibly just stunted, not actually worse. I've been very sick, so much so that the congestion really hurts me when i'm doing hard and continuous work. Cutting, playing D, marking, accelerating i felt great, but when i had to do the tumble rolls i was dead as fuck. Chris asked me if i was okay to which i gave him a wheezing, "I'm just sick, I'll be fine." Honestly, it's difficult to breathe when one of your nostrils is working at half capacity, the other dead, and your throat congested with some kind of sickness. On the other hand it is pretty cool to be able to shoot a snot rocket for 10 yards... gross, but cool. My goal for this week is to get better before Ultimax. Whether that means wearing things to keep me warm, or just not playing outside when it's ridiculously cold, or even simply eating better I'm going to have to do it.

Focusing on the team now, i think we're progressing pretty well with defense and offenses... mentality lesser so. Jake called some pretty... Jake-like calls and got the other team aggravated and riled up: i liked it. Everyone started hating each other and the level of the game definitely picked up. The only fear i have is that some people take Jake's and even other team's calls too personally, get to amped up, and then take things beyond themselves. We need to gain a tougher mentality, something i feel like the team has never really had. Whether it's been a bullshit call or getting broken a few times, Pitt has really struggled staying focused in games and making sure that we continue doing things that make us better - the pillars. This goes as far as a team wide mentality and as small as individuals motivations and thoughts. If one person is stuck in their head, they will inevitability affect the teams cog like offense or defense. Whether we need to gel more, get more wins under our belt, or just sit down one on one and make sure our heads are in check our mentality is key to success.

I definitely need to do this. Yet, for me its not a matter of ultimate. I need to be mentally in check before this tournament. I'm getting to work as soon as i finish this post, finishing late homework, finishing late essays, and going to get started on homework due later this week. I've bullshitted for a while now and i need to do my work. I also need to prioritize my financial situation, this is really my one only fear right now. Money sadly doesn't grow out of trees and definitely isn't free. Hmmm... i think what i need is a study buddy, for lack of a better phrase. I need someone who i can motivate to do work (school related) and someone who'll motivate me. Finances are being worked out by me and my mother so it's nothing that anyone can help me out, but someone definitely needs to help me out with my study habits. Then i think everything will start streamlining and start working for me, instead of against me.