The Faces of Pitt Ultimate

So i've had the urge to introduce the scary and frigthening faces of Pitt Ultimate for a while. Hopefully, a motivational and fun tool to get people pumped up for the series and the end of the season. If you guys haven't seen so far there are pictures attached to each person. They are a bit candide, but me and Tyler really took the time to search them out and post them here. Problem is it doesn't look like it due to my crappy color choices.

Let's start off with the tenacious handler unit. In the back field we have #8 Michael Plunkett, a big thrower with a knack for finding a layout d when needed. This dude will spike it so hard when he is totally uncovered, possibly cause he is like... really fast?... and scores a goal, it'll make not only taco the game disc but will taco any discs within earshot. When he can't find the room to throw a big huck you gotta' watch out for Alex 'A-Theezzy' Thorne. #21 loves throwin' the big huck or the high release break flick: watch out though when he isn't throwin' he's skying bitches and 'GIVIN' SOME' to the other team. Another weapon in this versatile arsenal of handlers is none other then Kyle Baynes, he's been breaking ankles and breaking marks since he was born: low release flick huck to the break side in stride is what Mr. Baynes has been doing since his high school days. And you can watch it rain on dem' hoes when he teams up with his former roommate Geoff Zettel.... this shit is bonkers... A little bit on him, when Geoff isn't actually making people fall down from his fakes, he's pulling into the back of the endzone, floating it there for about 5 minutes, and then getting the first d. Goodness forbid you have to gaurd him: honestly... honestly, just take a seat and let him score, save yourself some embarrasment. While we're on the subject of being nasty, one angry and ferocious little man comes to mind: Jake 'the Living Paradox' Christan. Not only does he throw huge flicks and backhands, but the man, the myth, the legend never stops running. # 35 is grinding away at your handler long after he's called foul. On the other side of the spectrum is Brad 'Boo' Bellinger. Not only is he the best looking, nicest, and debonair Pitt Ultimate player, he is also one of the best defenders on the North or South hemisphere. Ask Sherwood how much fun he had.

Always knowing where his man is going - because of his always thinking ultimate mind - Nick 'Killz' Kaczmarek proves on and off the field the meaning of dedication. He works hard for the team and pushes the best from each player: if this lovable lefty isn't preaching team philosophy, he is probably wrapping around his man and getting gnarly blocks to demonstrate. Being sick doesn't mean speaking a lot and although what #23 may say doesn't make a lot of sense, what does make sense is that he is a baller. When Eddie Peters sets his mind to a block or a layout, you know it's going to happened: it doesn't matter if its a world's player or a chump - he's getting the D. And while we're on the subject of laying out your best player, Mike 'Pants' Pannone has a knack for getting sick Ds on the best players and having them called back. Not because of a foul, but mostly because it hurts there feelings... and that just ain't nice. If he could only learn to harness he's ridiculously fast speed he'd be the scariest dude who knows how to hack a Wii.

Now the people that burn you for goals come from all corners of this team. When Colin 'the Coroner' Connors isn't murdering everyone and anyone, he is with his girlfriend: oddly enough no one knows her name? Sup with that Col? But seriously, this dude skys the living shit out of people and then throws lefty high releases for nonchalant goals. Not only does Colin dominate the airways for Pitt but so does Tyler 'Ty-Lord' Degirolamo. With a plethora of sick ass freshmen this year it's hard to say who is the best, but it's easy to say who is the most ridiculously athletic. Tyler not only catches all of his goals while in the air 47 inches above the ground, clapping them in his bread basket, he also scores all of the goals. A-L-L. On the defensive side of this swooping falcon like team comes Nick Rivers, number twenDEE. The DEE standing for the Ds that he gets at will: god forbid you throw a swilly huck or even something remotely not-perfect, cause he will out jump, out run your player and then mack on his girlfriend. Ask Julian 'the House' Houseman. After makin' out with a girl, #20 took his gal and banged her. In the room J-House was sleeping in. With him there, ten feet from the deed. BOOM roasted. But seriously, Julian is sick - and if he wasn't totally passed out and like at a thirteen, he might have gotten with that girl - not only does he negate your best handler, he also makes him look foolish, by either point blocking him and then throwing a huck, or point blocking him and throwing a HUGE huck.

The underneath defense is also unreal on this team. Not only can everyone get you inside, but if you have one of your unlucky non-deep players guarded by #4, your shit out of luck. Ravi 'the Dalllah' Ved not only can save your player from a sudden brain hemorrhage, he will also lay them out... maybe he caused, maybe he didn't ask him, he knows: he's going to be a doctor. Another shortman with huge potential and dedication is #3 Allen Rakers. Not only can he do an up-down or mountain man faster then you, he will throw his 3'2" body around and layout d the shit out of you. What he lacks in height he has in heart, strength, and the phrase, "C'MON ALLEN." On the flip side of this dynamic duo of vertically challenged is our big man with the knack for a sick layout D: Patrick 'PHamm' Hammonds. Roasting your dude under or deep, Patrick will rip it for a goal shouting AND1 and drawin' the foul. This big dawg has it all: including the most lovable girlfriend, how that happened... i don't know. (Love you Pat)

On the current IR we have David 'Hogan' Hogan. Oh god, the Metro East- and the Nation for that matter - is both happy and relieved that Hogan isn't ready to cleat up yet. Not only does this dude layout D anyone, everyone he also skys, puns, and quotes Futurama better. If only he had a fuller beard, then he'd be the all American ultimate player. Jason 'not-a-Pokemon-master' Kunsa, has recently been signed off the IR list, or so we hope. This kid is one of the hardest working players on the team. When he isn't running, lifting, or throwing, he's sleeping or playing pokemon. School? Who goes to school when there's ultimate/pokemon to be played.

Thanks to CCCs and a certain captain we now have a way of starting the other teams offense on our call, "tap it in! tap it in! tap it in!" Chris 'Christo' Brenenborg has been hucking and breaking with the best of them since he was on impulse and that little thing called Team USA. #21, i mean #2 has been on many magazine covers considering his hollywood status, most notably the WUGC 2007 DVD. Did i also mention he went to World's? He won and i think he drank like a liter of Dr. Pepper between each game. He's sponsored by them and Patagucci. Truth. Speaking of World's the coaching staff is start studded. Robert 'Dulabeard' Dulabon has played at the Club World Championships with one of the most elite teams this side of the east or west of the mississippi: Deathstar (?). When he was with Pitt he was a fundamental player on offense and defense, and now he brings the defensive hurt on teams with his knowledge of zone and man. On the offensive side we have David 'Vatzer' Vatz. Not only was he like this [-] close to making the Junior world's team, this dude was also a FOTY and all star cutter with Pitt. Now he sits on the side line making the offense move like a fluid machine. Finally, we have David 'Weasel' Lionetti. The man with the plan, the man with a future sight. I mean this dude went to nationals, I think as many times as Jim Parinella: this has yet to be verified. Nonetheless, working diligently Wease has pushed this team to new levels of sick nasty in recent years; once a regionals wanna-be, to a scary nationals threat Pitt has moved up because of his guidance and tutelage.

And that's the faces of Pitt Ultimate.


Andrej Ababovic* #10

Pictures provided by Andrej and Tyler.

It's dumb to write one for yourself, so if anyone has some witty commentary i'm all ears. *