I'm too pissed to write about the tournament so i'll leave everyone with this jem...
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/gbo/984476074.html
I'm going to have to start doing this.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Icky
This weekend/week have been unproductive. I've been sick, I've been overworked, and I've been down in the dumps. I'm guessing the last is because of the previous, but it really doesn't help. The team practices I've done so far have been going well. I played exactly how i said i wanted to: i used my body, threw myself around and got a few Ds and a few weird ass catches. I could have had a few more but i was still feeling a bit off and a bit unmotivated.
My cardio has gotten worse though - possibly just stunted, not actually worse. I've been very sick, so much so that the congestion really hurts me when i'm doing hard and continuous work. Cutting, playing D, marking, accelerating i felt great, but when i had to do the tumble rolls i was dead as fuck. Chris asked me if i was okay to which i gave him a wheezing, "I'm just sick, I'll be fine." Honestly, it's difficult to breathe when one of your nostrils is working at half capacity, the other dead, and your throat congested with some kind of sickness. On the other hand it is pretty cool to be able to shoot a snot rocket for 10 yards... gross, but cool. My goal for this week is to get better before Ultimax. Whether that means wearing things to keep me warm, or just not playing outside when it's ridiculously cold, or even simply eating better I'm going to have to do it.
Focusing on the team now, i think we're progressing pretty well with defense and offenses... mentality lesser so. Jake called some pretty... Jake-like calls and got the other team aggravated and riled up: i liked it. Everyone started hating each other and the level of the game definitely picked up. The only fear i have is that some people take Jake's and even other team's calls too personally, get to amped up, and then take things beyond themselves. We need to gain a tougher mentality, something i feel like the team has never really had. Whether it's been a bullshit call or getting broken a few times, Pitt has really struggled staying focused in games and making sure that we continue doing things that make us better - the pillars. This goes as far as a team wide mentality and as small as individuals motivations and thoughts. If one person is stuck in their head, they will inevitability affect the teams cog like offense or defense. Whether we need to gel more, get more wins under our belt, or just sit down one on one and make sure our heads are in check our mentality is key to success.
I definitely need to do this. Yet, for me its not a matter of ultimate. I need to be mentally in check before this tournament. I'm getting to work as soon as i finish this post, finishing late homework, finishing late essays, and going to get started on homework due later this week. I've bullshitted for a while now and i need to do my work. I also need to prioritize my financial situation, this is really my one only fear right now. Money sadly doesn't grow out of trees and definitely isn't free. Hmmm... i think what i need is a study buddy, for lack of a better phrase. I need someone who i can motivate to do work (school related) and someone who'll motivate me. Finances are being worked out by me and my mother so it's nothing that anyone can help me out, but someone definitely needs to help me out with my study habits. Then i think everything will start streamlining and start working for me, instead of against me.
My cardio has gotten worse though - possibly just stunted, not actually worse. I've been very sick, so much so that the congestion really hurts me when i'm doing hard and continuous work. Cutting, playing D, marking, accelerating i felt great, but when i had to do the tumble rolls i was dead as fuck. Chris asked me if i was okay to which i gave him a wheezing, "I'm just sick, I'll be fine." Honestly, it's difficult to breathe when one of your nostrils is working at half capacity, the other dead, and your throat congested with some kind of sickness. On the other hand it is pretty cool to be able to shoot a snot rocket for 10 yards... gross, but cool. My goal for this week is to get better before Ultimax. Whether that means wearing things to keep me warm, or just not playing outside when it's ridiculously cold, or even simply eating better I'm going to have to do it.
Focusing on the team now, i think we're progressing pretty well with defense and offenses... mentality lesser so. Jake called some pretty... Jake-like calls and got the other team aggravated and riled up: i liked it. Everyone started hating each other and the level of the game definitely picked up. The only fear i have is that some people take Jake's and even other team's calls too personally, get to amped up, and then take things beyond themselves. We need to gain a tougher mentality, something i feel like the team has never really had. Whether it's been a bullshit call or getting broken a few times, Pitt has really struggled staying focused in games and making sure that we continue doing things that make us better - the pillars. This goes as far as a team wide mentality and as small as individuals motivations and thoughts. If one person is stuck in their head, they will inevitability affect the teams cog like offense or defense. Whether we need to gel more, get more wins under our belt, or just sit down one on one and make sure our heads are in check our mentality is key to success.
I definitely need to do this. Yet, for me its not a matter of ultimate. I need to be mentally in check before this tournament. I'm getting to work as soon as i finish this post, finishing late homework, finishing late essays, and going to get started on homework due later this week. I've bullshitted for a while now and i need to do my work. I also need to prioritize my financial situation, this is really my one only fear right now. Money sadly doesn't grow out of trees and definitely isn't free. Hmmm... i think what i need is a study buddy, for lack of a better phrase. I need someone who i can motivate to do work (school related) and someone who'll motivate me. Finances are being worked out by me and my mother so it's nothing that anyone can help me out, but someone definitely needs to help me out with my study habits. Then i think everything will start streamlining and start working for me, instead of against me.
Fuck That
I'm bringing this shit back. My tumblr is going to be for myself - to make sure my academics are in line - while this one is going to be a public, more ultimate based forum.
And with that, i need to blog a bit. So as i've realized my academics have really been slipping. Right now that has no true impact, cause all my class are piss easy and - oddly - not moving quickly at all. On the other hand, my body, mind, and ultimate abilities have personally sky rocketed. I've been working hard with Christo and Eddie - spare this last week - and have really seen noticeable improvements in how i play. My cutting has been a bit hesitant and i've been working on that.
During the Oregon game i started as a cutter and it was great, but one thing plagued me the entire time. 'Don't fuck up.' And that really held me back from cutting full speed and working to maximum efficiency. When i did get the disc i was cool, calm, and knew what to do. The problem was the cutting: i wanted to do everything right. I wanted to make space from players, i wanted good hard cuts, i wanted to make my guy to be chasing me, i wanted too much. What i think people saw from this was a lack of play for me. My mind was going a million miles an hour and my body was moving at two. This wasn't true at CCC.
At CCC i played balls to the walls, i remember in the Wisconsin game just making striding cuts up and down the field, defender behind me, always a step behind, moving the disc, making the space, and i think it all came from the fact that i played with confidence. The Oregon game was the first game of the Spring, against a good team, in a big tournament, it was over my head and i was in my head. I don't want to say it showed in the beginning break mark drill, but it obviously did. I didn't throw well, i didn't do the things i usually do with ease.
So now i make a decision. I am confident. This sounds absurd, you can't just tell yourself to be confident. But you can - it's easy. I know i can work hard, i know i can beat my guys, i know i can do it: so i will.
On a quick other note. I need to throw my body around more. It felt great to do it in practice last Thursday, i nearly had it (mostly because Jason didn't realize the importance of D-ing a disc as soon as you can). My one goal right now is to get some great layout bid for a D. This fall i was amped up to do this, i remember repeatedly hitting the ground in the Space Bro tournament: I also got some pretty sweet D's this summer with Zebra. So I know i can do it, i've done it before: let's do it again.
And with that, i need to blog a bit. So as i've realized my academics have really been slipping. Right now that has no true impact, cause all my class are piss easy and - oddly - not moving quickly at all. On the other hand, my body, mind, and ultimate abilities have personally sky rocketed. I've been working hard with Christo and Eddie - spare this last week - and have really seen noticeable improvements in how i play. My cutting has been a bit hesitant and i've been working on that.
During the Oregon game i started as a cutter and it was great, but one thing plagued me the entire time. 'Don't fuck up.' And that really held me back from cutting full speed and working to maximum efficiency. When i did get the disc i was cool, calm, and knew what to do. The problem was the cutting: i wanted to do everything right. I wanted to make space from players, i wanted good hard cuts, i wanted to make my guy to be chasing me, i wanted too much. What i think people saw from this was a lack of play for me. My mind was going a million miles an hour and my body was moving at two. This wasn't true at CCC.
At CCC i played balls to the walls, i remember in the Wisconsin game just making striding cuts up and down the field, defender behind me, always a step behind, moving the disc, making the space, and i think it all came from the fact that i played with confidence. The Oregon game was the first game of the Spring, against a good team, in a big tournament, it was over my head and i was in my head. I don't want to say it showed in the beginning break mark drill, but it obviously did. I didn't throw well, i didn't do the things i usually do with ease.
So now i make a decision. I am confident. This sounds absurd, you can't just tell yourself to be confident. But you can - it's easy. I know i can work hard, i know i can beat my guys, i know i can do it: so i will.
On a quick other note. I need to throw my body around more. It felt great to do it in practice last Thursday, i nearly had it (mostly because Jason didn't realize the importance of D-ing a disc as soon as you can). My one goal right now is to get some great layout bid for a D. This fall i was amped up to do this, i remember repeatedly hitting the ground in the Space Bro tournament: I also got some pretty sweet D's this summer with Zebra. So I know i can do it, i've done it before: let's do it again.
Mourning Aftermath
Lately, I've been listening to Sage Francis. He's actually one of my favorite rappers, mainly because he is lyrical and very different. I don't like the whole gangster rap, bitches and hoes, rich bitch shit; I'm about actual music, not the ridiculousness behind them. But i digress. The reason i say all of this is that all my titles have come from his music, titles, and CD's. I don't actually think this is pertinent to my blog post, but just a fun little factoid.
So here's my deal. I feel like ultimate itself has been on the back burner recently. It's weird to say and think about, but when i take a step back, i can't say that i have progressed in ultimate at the moment. My throws have gotten exponentially better, my fitness has gotten better, and my knowledge of the game has gotten better. But i still haven't improved as a player. I know i sound retarded right? But bare with me.
Cutting, playing defense, throwing to space, skying, laying out is what ultimate is about. I have learned about it, but i have not done it. It's like that philosophical example. Jane learns everything in a bubble, she only knows about things through books, she lives in a black and white world, no color, nothing but books. When she steps outside and sees a red apple, does she learn something new, even if she has "learned" about it. The answer is yes. And it's an obvious one. It makes sense right, experience and knowledge together will build.
So this is my deal, i will probably not transform as a player until maybe, hopefully sectionals. I'm honest with myself. I know i won't play at Stanford, at Centex, and i know it's because I'm not a great player. I understand that. I know I'll play maybe 5 or 6 points total at a tournament and that i should take it to heart and take as much as i can from them all. But the thing is, playing 5 points were no one expects much from you does not a player build.
Here's my point or remark. Rob, Nick, Wes, Brent, Sean were all like me at one point. Maybe they were better, maybe they were worse, that's not the point. What I'm saying is, they were inexperienced players; they threw a throw behind someone as they cut to them, they may not have layed out when they could have, they maybe have been beaten deep, skyed, ded whatever; but they learned, from each of those experience you learn something. Each of those games, where they won or lost, they learned something about themselves, their opponents, tendencies, anything. But now as the team gets better and better, the stakes grow and there is less room for error.
Some will say practice is that time for you to grow and learn. Which i agree with completely, the more that you practice the better you get. Yet here's the deal. You will eventually guard everyone on the team, you will learn about them and they will learn about you. It becomes monotonous and monotony does not promote growth. Which is why tournaments become, maybe, the most important thing to the growth of a player.
From playing at Collegiates i learned so much. I played maybe nine or ten points in those first few games before getting injured, but i learned so much. I learned a bit about how to cut, i learned how to play ho-D, i learned some things about guarding in cuts, out cuts, deeps, everything. And it all happened in those first two games. It was amazing, i felt like i had learned a whole new facet of the game. I was exposed to new players, new tendencies, new cuts, new threats, and from each of those things i gained at least one valuable thing.
I may have made this remark in a prior post, but it's a valuable one. I had talked to Weasel at Collegiates, and had told him that when i attempted to restart playing on the Sunday of the tournament, and had made some obviously freshmen mistakes and dumb ones, that i beat myself up about, i felt as though it was because of the time i had been injured the other day. It sounds odd right. How can i say that the time i had missed from the day before could possibly affect me? Easily. We played 5 games. That's 5 opponents with different players, different plays, different tendencies, different everything.
Honestly, i think i have the best attitude about my situation now. I admit i was pissed after QCTU because i had played 4 points on the weekend, and i had every right to be. I understand i had just come back from injury, but i couldn't grasp how i didn't play in the first game where we had beaten VU by 8 or 9? Whatever I'm over it. This isn't the attitude i was talking about. I had an idea that i wouldn't play a lot of points, i told Nick that weekend that we weren't going to play like the veterans, and he was shocked, i actually just hadn't recognized the magnitude that this was true. My wave length was this, "I will play enough points to learn things and be able to take ways of changing my game to improve it." What i ended up with was a shaky resolve and a disheartened out look.
That was my attitude after QCTU. But, after the first week of being mopey, of being a little pissy, i said to myself, "fuck that, I'm not breezing through my freshmen year, being pissy and sitting around not caring." So what did i do. I worked my ass of at practices and still have. I started retraining in swimming. I've started running at nights to make up for missing track practices. I've done everything shy of skipping classes to lift, to improve myself. My backhand is now very respectable, i can fight through an Eddie mark. I can pivot better (it's really not that impressive, but it's better then ever before). I've learned a lot more about cutting and defending. I've regained a sturdy resolve, I've realized being a bitch isn't going to get me playing time. Work is.
This all brings me back to my first point. I've worked hard outside of ultimate. I've improved myself as a player, but does my play actually follow suit? I don't think so. Sadly, i know this. I won't get better at throwing a backhand unless i get a stiff mark and have to throw to a player who is being guarded tight. I won't get to defend unless I'm fighting with a guy to get a disc in the air. But does that dishearten me like it did after QCTU. I'd like to say no. I know I've worked hard prior to this coming season, and i know i can say that I'm not ashamed or regret anything i did - following my injury - and hopefully it gets me somewhere.
So here's my deal. I feel like ultimate itself has been on the back burner recently. It's weird to say and think about, but when i take a step back, i can't say that i have progressed in ultimate at the moment. My throws have gotten exponentially better, my fitness has gotten better, and my knowledge of the game has gotten better. But i still haven't improved as a player. I know i sound retarded right? But bare with me.
Cutting, playing defense, throwing to space, skying, laying out is what ultimate is about. I have learned about it, but i have not done it. It's like that philosophical example. Jane learns everything in a bubble, she only knows about things through books, she lives in a black and white world, no color, nothing but books. When she steps outside and sees a red apple, does she learn something new, even if she has "learned" about it. The answer is yes. And it's an obvious one. It makes sense right, experience and knowledge together will build.
So this is my deal, i will probably not transform as a player until maybe, hopefully sectionals. I'm honest with myself. I know i won't play at Stanford, at Centex, and i know it's because I'm not a great player. I understand that. I know I'll play maybe 5 or 6 points total at a tournament and that i should take it to heart and take as much as i can from them all. But the thing is, playing 5 points were no one expects much from you does not a player build.
Here's my point or remark. Rob, Nick, Wes, Brent, Sean were all like me at one point. Maybe they were better, maybe they were worse, that's not the point. What I'm saying is, they were inexperienced players; they threw a throw behind someone as they cut to them, they may not have layed out when they could have, they maybe have been beaten deep, skyed, ded whatever; but they learned, from each of those experience you learn something. Each of those games, where they won or lost, they learned something about themselves, their opponents, tendencies, anything. But now as the team gets better and better, the stakes grow and there is less room for error.
Some will say practice is that time for you to grow and learn. Which i agree with completely, the more that you practice the better you get. Yet here's the deal. You will eventually guard everyone on the team, you will learn about them and they will learn about you. It becomes monotonous and monotony does not promote growth. Which is why tournaments become, maybe, the most important thing to the growth of a player.
From playing at Collegiates i learned so much. I played maybe nine or ten points in those first few games before getting injured, but i learned so much. I learned a bit about how to cut, i learned how to play ho-D, i learned some things about guarding in cuts, out cuts, deeps, everything. And it all happened in those first two games. It was amazing, i felt like i had learned a whole new facet of the game. I was exposed to new players, new tendencies, new cuts, new threats, and from each of those things i gained at least one valuable thing.
I may have made this remark in a prior post, but it's a valuable one. I had talked to Weasel at Collegiates, and had told him that when i attempted to restart playing on the Sunday of the tournament, and had made some obviously freshmen mistakes and dumb ones, that i beat myself up about, i felt as though it was because of the time i had been injured the other day. It sounds odd right. How can i say that the time i had missed from the day before could possibly affect me? Easily. We played 5 games. That's 5 opponents with different players, different plays, different tendencies, different everything.
Honestly, i think i have the best attitude about my situation now. I admit i was pissed after QCTU because i had played 4 points on the weekend, and i had every right to be. I understand i had just come back from injury, but i couldn't grasp how i didn't play in the first game where we had beaten VU by 8 or 9? Whatever I'm over it. This isn't the attitude i was talking about. I had an idea that i wouldn't play a lot of points, i told Nick that weekend that we weren't going to play like the veterans, and he was shocked, i actually just hadn't recognized the magnitude that this was true. My wave length was this, "I will play enough points to learn things and be able to take ways of changing my game to improve it." What i ended up with was a shaky resolve and a disheartened out look.
That was my attitude after QCTU. But, after the first week of being mopey, of being a little pissy, i said to myself, "fuck that, I'm not breezing through my freshmen year, being pissy and sitting around not caring." So what did i do. I worked my ass of at practices and still have. I started retraining in swimming. I've started running at nights to make up for missing track practices. I've done everything shy of skipping classes to lift, to improve myself. My backhand is now very respectable, i can fight through an Eddie mark. I can pivot better (it's really not that impressive, but it's better then ever before). I've learned a lot more about cutting and defending. I've regained a sturdy resolve, I've realized being a bitch isn't going to get me playing time. Work is.
This all brings me back to my first point. I've worked hard outside of ultimate. I've improved myself as a player, but does my play actually follow suit? I don't think so. Sadly, i know this. I won't get better at throwing a backhand unless i get a stiff mark and have to throw to a player who is being guarded tight. I won't get to defend unless I'm fighting with a guy to get a disc in the air. But does that dishearten me like it did after QCTU. I'd like to say no. I know I've worked hard prior to this coming season, and i know i can say that I'm not ashamed or regret anything i did - following my injury - and hopefully it gets me somewhere.
Complacency
Complacency is my school life right now. I'm at an attitude of "I don't really care and I'm fine." That's not good. A few weeks ago i was a head of the game, working hard, everyday, got my homework done, studying all the time... etc. The thing is, it wasn't bad. I didn't feel overwhelmed and i didn't not like it. So why am i now being a bitch, and not doing my work? Why? I think it's very simple. I fell one step behind. One step behind, and i said fuck that. It's weird i worked really hard, but then totally forgot to watch a movie and write a summary, so i got dismayed. The thing is, I've made up my mind. I'm done being a little pansy and this shit happening. I'm starting my hard work ethic in school and busting my ass. I'm behind in a few classes and have skipped one too many classes of Math Theory; so now i know that i have to work.
On the contra positive, i'm not complacent with ultimate and practicing. The diesel and myself have been to the pool, he loved it and so did i. It got my shoulder and biceps and triceps really working, and DZ was complaining about it a day after the fact, so he knows its a good thing. Swimming is going to be my alternative to hardcore lifting; my schedule at the moment has been hectic and will most likely stay that way. Therefore i've decided swimming will become one of my main exercise routines. Running is top priority, then my throwing, then my overall size. Size is not really a factor right now, i'm huge and am comparatively to everyone else on the team. Running and my cardio has been hurting real bad because i have been sick, but i'm constantly working on it. I haven't really been able to breathe well/at all and when i ran 800s it really showed; i was drained, mainly because i didn't have enough oxygen and my muscles didn't feel fatigued but like near failure. Swimming is going to help me a) rebuild some lost muscles, b) work on my cardio, c) get me back into great shape. It was great watching DZ really struggle but still try to push through and keep working. I helped him learn some stuff about form and stroke and he really enjoyed the total workout.
On another note: I quit the BBoard.
On the contra positive, i'm not complacent with ultimate and practicing. The diesel and myself have been to the pool, he loved it and so did i. It got my shoulder and biceps and triceps really working, and DZ was complaining about it a day after the fact, so he knows its a good thing. Swimming is going to be my alternative to hardcore lifting; my schedule at the moment has been hectic and will most likely stay that way. Therefore i've decided swimming will become one of my main exercise routines. Running is top priority, then my throwing, then my overall size. Size is not really a factor right now, i'm huge and am comparatively to everyone else on the team. Running and my cardio has been hurting real bad because i have been sick, but i'm constantly working on it. I haven't really been able to breathe well/at all and when i ran 800s it really showed; i was drained, mainly because i didn't have enough oxygen and my muscles didn't feel fatigued but like near failure. Swimming is going to help me a) rebuild some lost muscles, b) work on my cardio, c) get me back into great shape. It was great watching DZ really struggle but still try to push through and keep working. I helped him learn some stuff about form and stroke and he really enjoyed the total workout.
On another note: I quit the BBoard.
Introspective Look
I've been a little upset over the last few days. I can't believe i stopped swimming. I mean, wow. It was my life; i had lots of friends, had lots of fun, and was very good at it. I recently looked over the Pittsburgh top times and other non-sense, and saw the 100 butterfly top times of this year. God fucking damn it my best time would have been like 3rd or maybe 4th. This all comes at the light of Ricky and his stardom at the moment. For those of you who don't know who i am talking about google "Ricky Henahan." He's a good friend of mine, who iv'e sadly not been in superb contact with. We are really best friends, we can hang out anytime and just good around. The thing is Ricky has been, even though he is younger, kinda of someone i looked up to. He was bigger, faster, and an all around better swimmer. He inspired me. Ricky and I always talked about the most random shit and had insane things to talk about; i remember drives to Fairport during which i taught Ricky the proper way to tell a girl to leave him alone, and the proper way of burning a bridge - both of these are obscene sexual gesture, which i care not to discuss.
The thing is, I've decided i love Ultimate. I love it so much. But swimming is still there. My unrequited love. How pathetic, ha. It's not so much that i miss working my ass of 2 hours in the morning and afternoon, to be tired and not be able to do anything with any one, but it's that i miss being great and being apart of a team that was exceptional. FAST (Fairport Area Swim Team) was the club that i swam for 3 years and had devoted a good portion of my life. My best friends were from there, my best memories are there, my greatest moments are there. I gained some of the best friends from swimming; Ricky, Todd, Brad, Dan, Hailey, Will... the list goes on. They were people i loved to be around: they would call me up, i would call them up, we'd have bon-fires, hang out, play halo, drive around for hours, eat ice cream.... everything. I lived a grand and hilarious life. Elias, our whipping boy, reminds me of the best story bar none:
Traditionally, after home/away meets we would celebrate our win, or drown our sorrows at our local BK. It had been a tradition followed for around 7 years, and was a great one. The thing about Elias Homerin is that he isn't normal. He has 3 balls, is somewhat disturbed, has a foot fetish, and is an absolute retard- but he was so loyal and annoying it hurt. He is Ricky's bitch, and was mine for the ladder half of my swimming career. On a side note, he has actually gotten a hell of a lot better, he made states and is becoming a decent swimmer, even though he has no form and is annoying as ever. But, i digress. BK, Elias, mischief. It all started after some meet we had lost, probably a meet Ricky and i had won in our events but the rest of our shit team couldn't even swim in, we got there before Elias and his van of people, and set down to eat our Grilled Chicken Sandwiches. Out of the corner of my ear, i hear an Elias retard noise (he makes wierd noises, and there is no point to them), so i ignore it. Two minutes later Elias and the rest of the people with him come back in tears, Elias was foodless, and everyone else couldnt stop laughing. What had happened? Elias had 7 dollars to spend, Elias is not normal, he spent 10 dollars, he asked if he could borrow the rest of the money.... from the lady at the counter. "I just need three dollars, can i just borrow it. I come here often, i'll pay you back." This story was awarded the "I'll Pay You Back" paper plate award.
Yet, why... why in a semi ultimate related blog, do i bring this up? I haven't had any of these moments yet. I feel a bit adrift in college life and i feel a little isolated. I think it's due to my nature. When i was at FAST i was forced into being with people, High School was an obvious duh, and i didn't worry about much. Now i am forced to think about my FAFSA forms, my next year living condition, working hard, working for money, making sure i had enough money, paying for tournaments, it's become overwhelming. I don't think it's so much overwhelming as much as i am just distressed. I need a friend to vent to, someone willing to put up with shit and help motivate me. With Ricky gone, and swimming for the moment on retainer, i feel empty and feel that i need something or someone to push me. Personally self motivation for me doesn't work. Seeing someone in lane 2 swimming next to you, and saying "fuck that I'm not losing to him" does push me. Ricky, for no particular reason other then being good and being a friend, pushed me to being a great swimmer - something i regret now completely giving up. Yet now i search for someone to push me to become a great ultimate player. Someone who will push me, care about me, and care about my struggle. I'm not clingy, I really don't think I am, I just want to be able to say, "Yeah he's my friend, he pushes me hard, and i really appreciate it."
The thing is, I've decided i love Ultimate. I love it so much. But swimming is still there. My unrequited love. How pathetic, ha. It's not so much that i miss working my ass of 2 hours in the morning and afternoon, to be tired and not be able to do anything with any one, but it's that i miss being great and being apart of a team that was exceptional. FAST (Fairport Area Swim Team) was the club that i swam for 3 years and had devoted a good portion of my life. My best friends were from there, my best memories are there, my greatest moments are there. I gained some of the best friends from swimming; Ricky, Todd, Brad, Dan, Hailey, Will... the list goes on. They were people i loved to be around: they would call me up, i would call them up, we'd have bon-fires, hang out, play halo, drive around for hours, eat ice cream.... everything. I lived a grand and hilarious life. Elias, our whipping boy, reminds me of the best story bar none:
Traditionally, after home/away meets we would celebrate our win, or drown our sorrows at our local BK. It had been a tradition followed for around 7 years, and was a great one. The thing about Elias Homerin is that he isn't normal. He has 3 balls, is somewhat disturbed, has a foot fetish, and is an absolute retard- but he was so loyal and annoying it hurt. He is Ricky's bitch, and was mine for the ladder half of my swimming career. On a side note, he has actually gotten a hell of a lot better, he made states and is becoming a decent swimmer, even though he has no form and is annoying as ever. But, i digress. BK, Elias, mischief. It all started after some meet we had lost, probably a meet Ricky and i had won in our events but the rest of our shit team couldn't even swim in, we got there before Elias and his van of people, and set down to eat our Grilled Chicken Sandwiches. Out of the corner of my ear, i hear an Elias retard noise (he makes wierd noises, and there is no point to them), so i ignore it. Two minutes later Elias and the rest of the people with him come back in tears, Elias was foodless, and everyone else couldnt stop laughing. What had happened? Elias had 7 dollars to spend, Elias is not normal, he spent 10 dollars, he asked if he could borrow the rest of the money.... from the lady at the counter. "I just need three dollars, can i just borrow it. I come here often, i'll pay you back." This story was awarded the "I'll Pay You Back" paper plate award.
Yet, why... why in a semi ultimate related blog, do i bring this up? I haven't had any of these moments yet. I feel a bit adrift in college life and i feel a little isolated. I think it's due to my nature. When i was at FAST i was forced into being with people, High School was an obvious duh, and i didn't worry about much. Now i am forced to think about my FAFSA forms, my next year living condition, working hard, working for money, making sure i had enough money, paying for tournaments, it's become overwhelming. I don't think it's so much overwhelming as much as i am just distressed. I need a friend to vent to, someone willing to put up with shit and help motivate me. With Ricky gone, and swimming for the moment on retainer, i feel empty and feel that i need something or someone to push me. Personally self motivation for me doesn't work. Seeing someone in lane 2 swimming next to you, and saying "fuck that I'm not losing to him" does push me. Ricky, for no particular reason other then being good and being a friend, pushed me to being a great swimmer - something i regret now completely giving up. Yet now i search for someone to push me to become a great ultimate player. Someone who will push me, care about me, and care about my struggle. I'm not clingy, I really don't think I am, I just want to be able to say, "Yeah he's my friend, he pushes me hard, and i really appreciate it."
Bump
So here's the deal. I have 110 posts on the bboard.To my knowledge i didn't know there was "post stuffing." I mean isn't anything written in a forum to some effect post stuffing. I understand that if someons is just saying "k" or "hahah"or "lol", then they're just bullshitting posts and their total count, but as far as i've known i haven't been that ridiculous. There are maybe two that i actually think i have to take credit for, and one was because Brad asked if there was a cost difference to our two spring break choices, and i came along and just said "Jake says they're negligible." I realize now that he probably could have read the forum to find out the answer to this silly question, but i responded. Another one i did just in spite of this nonsense, the post i responded was the following:
Alrighty, now that i've got that off my chest. I've been kind of aggravated considering i haven't been able to run or do some of the leg things with the team. I've realized that i need to heal up and that i shouldn't push myself just because i want to do something. Meaning, i shouldn't force myself to run, if i know I'm going to hurt myself, just because i need to get into better conditioned shape. So i've done a vast amount of abs, which is doing my good and i've been throwing plenty. The ladder is great. My backhand has finally come to be a respectable throw and my huck is actually really nice, both backhand and flick. Needless to say i've been working my ass off. I do the nine minute abs routine a few times a week and i do push up regularly. I don't know how everything is going to fall into pieces, meaning my season and my workouts, but i know that if i just keep working throw, rehab my groin, get to full speed, that everything will workout one way or another.
On another note, i've had this reoccuring... sort of... horror moment. I don't know why, but i know that it's not true and it's literally never going to happened. I have this ridiculous idea, possible because of my lack of playing in along time, that i am going to suck REALLY, REALLY bad. It all boils down to me being like completely incompetent, the horror scenario. It plays out something like this: D-line, running down the pull i am totally out of breathe and can barely run down, my man is fast, deadly, and smart, and i can't touch him, and to top it all off i get lay out d-ed a whole bunch. The thing is, the last time i played was at the UNC tournament, i was injured and i couldn't run, i was half dead, and was not prepared for good defenders, so i just got wiped all over the field. Me and weasel had talked about it after the game; i told him that i felt like the rookies that got to play all the games on Saturday (of the tournament) and contribute in some minor way gained an abundance of experience and knowledge about how good the teams were. When i jumped in half way through the quarter final game on Sunday i was totally out of my league: and we were playing some chump team... I've realized i just need to scrimmage and play my best and hardest during practices and tournaments (for the few points a may play).
Finally, jerseys. I'm a big fan of Nick's designs. I loved the Pitt man in the block lettering, i thought it was a really good idea, but apparently it's "too busy." Well at the moment our jerseys are too boring. The deal with the colors, as i had told the Bird, was i was going to vote for blue or gold, it would be together, and if i was going to vote for white and black, i would once again vote for them together- but to my surprise it came out half and half, which may or may not be bad. We're also taking a big page out of the Sockeye book. Currently it looks like we may have numbers on the front too, which i am a proponent of and think looks very professional; along with that there are the sick shorts which also seem vaguely sockeye-esque. Overall i am a big fan, and i can't wait to see/wear them.
It's like i told Charlie, i feel like we're a team right now, but when we get our jerseys we ARE a team.
Ben_Ristau wrote: It's polite and cuts down on bboard clutter.To which i eloquently responded "bump." I mean come on. HILARIOUS!
David_Lionetti wrote: But then how can you possibly expect to artificially inflate your post count?
David_Vatz wrote: Good point
Alrighty, now that i've got that off my chest. I've been kind of aggravated considering i haven't been able to run or do some of the leg things with the team. I've realized that i need to heal up and that i shouldn't push myself just because i want to do something. Meaning, i shouldn't force myself to run, if i know I'm going to hurt myself, just because i need to get into better conditioned shape. So i've done a vast amount of abs, which is doing my good and i've been throwing plenty. The ladder is great. My backhand has finally come to be a respectable throw and my huck is actually really nice, both backhand and flick. Needless to say i've been working my ass off. I do the nine minute abs routine a few times a week and i do push up regularly. I don't know how everything is going to fall into pieces, meaning my season and my workouts, but i know that if i just keep working throw, rehab my groin, get to full speed, that everything will workout one way or another.
On another note, i've had this reoccuring... sort of... horror moment. I don't know why, but i know that it's not true and it's literally never going to happened. I have this ridiculous idea, possible because of my lack of playing in along time, that i am going to suck REALLY, REALLY bad. It all boils down to me being like completely incompetent, the horror scenario. It plays out something like this: D-line, running down the pull i am totally out of breathe and can barely run down, my man is fast, deadly, and smart, and i can't touch him, and to top it all off i get lay out d-ed a whole bunch. The thing is, the last time i played was at the UNC tournament, i was injured and i couldn't run, i was half dead, and was not prepared for good defenders, so i just got wiped all over the field. Me and weasel had talked about it after the game; i told him that i felt like the rookies that got to play all the games on Saturday (of the tournament) and contribute in some minor way gained an abundance of experience and knowledge about how good the teams were. When i jumped in half way through the quarter final game on Sunday i was totally out of my league: and we were playing some chump team... I've realized i just need to scrimmage and play my best and hardest during practices and tournaments (for the few points a may play).
Finally, jerseys. I'm a big fan of Nick's designs. I loved the Pitt man in the block lettering, i thought it was a really good idea, but apparently it's "too busy." Well at the moment our jerseys are too boring. The deal with the colors, as i had told the Bird, was i was going to vote for blue or gold, it would be together, and if i was going to vote for white and black, i would once again vote for them together- but to my surprise it came out half and half, which may or may not be bad. We're also taking a big page out of the Sockeye book. Currently it looks like we may have numbers on the front too, which i am a proponent of and think looks very professional; along with that there are the sick shorts which also seem vaguely sockeye-esque. Overall i am a big fan, and i can't wait to see/wear them.
It's like i told Charlie, i feel like we're a team right now, but when we get our jerseys we ARE a team.
Amp Energy: Overload
Alrighty, i have not much to say and i am just sort of killing moonlight.
Finals suck because they break my routine, which is basically how i have motivation to do anything, ever. Therein i have worked out less and ate more, which will change and i refuse for one week to truly deter me from my goals. On a more positive note i finally bitched out my shit T.A. and he began to whine about how he had too many students and he has a personal life and blah blah blah. To which i retorted, "is being a T.A a hobby, or do you get paid for it?"
Finally, the Bird has gained mad respect points for me in every category possible. A quick factoid about respect points: everyone has an infinite supply, and you can give them out accordingly for let's say witty comments, a dare, something hilarious, something bad ass; the counter opposite is also true, you can take them away for stupid shit. Bird has not only gained it as being a badass ultimate player, but also for being legitimately funny 24/7. If Bird doesn't have a gem to share he is literally sleeping. Overall + 20 respect points - i usually give them out in quantities of 1 or 2.
Positive note for Ultimate. I am consistently fixing my backhand and have - to my knowledge - sort of figure out my backhand. Thanks to Eddie and Christo. +2, +1 respect points to them respectively, and a definite +3 to Geoff for helping me practice constantly.
Oh, also. Fundraising, I've actually been super hardcore about this. I already realize that the team is going to cost a shit load of money and i have a plan of saying money from each pay check. But i also know that i hate spending money, so I've been pushing and giving lots of suggestions and all that good stuff, and have kind of been all over this. So if you read this check out one of three places facebook [which is a combination of the following two] or instead go to the donation page or the credit card page. Help out, and spread the word.
Finals suck because they break my routine, which is basically how i have motivation to do anything, ever. Therein i have worked out less and ate more, which will change and i refuse for one week to truly deter me from my goals. On a more positive note i finally bitched out my shit T.A. and he began to whine about how he had too many students and he has a personal life and blah blah blah. To which i retorted, "is being a T.A a hobby, or do you get paid for it?"
Finally, the Bird has gained mad respect points for me in every category possible. A quick factoid about respect points: everyone has an infinite supply, and you can give them out accordingly for let's say witty comments, a dare, something hilarious, something bad ass; the counter opposite is also true, you can take them away for stupid shit. Bird has not only gained it as being a badass ultimate player, but also for being legitimately funny 24/7. If Bird doesn't have a gem to share he is literally sleeping. Overall + 20 respect points - i usually give them out in quantities of 1 or 2.
Positive note for Ultimate. I am consistently fixing my backhand and have - to my knowledge - sort of figure out my backhand. Thanks to Eddie and Christo. +2, +1 respect points to them respectively, and a definite +3 to Geoff for helping me practice constantly.
Oh, also. Fundraising, I've actually been super hardcore about this. I already realize that the team is going to cost a shit load of money and i have a plan of saying money from each pay check. But i also know that i hate spending money, so I've been pushing and giving lots of suggestions and all that good stuff, and have kind of been all over this. So if you read this check out one of three places facebook [which is a combination of the following two] or instead go to the donation page or the credit card page. Help out, and spread the word.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
